Guys only: The 5 worst ways to break up
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There are countless ways that you can break off a relationship with your girlfriend that can save face for the both of you and end it on civil terms. At the same time, there are five distinct ways to end a relationship that will end with a massive headache and humiliation. Here are The 5 Worst Ways to Break Up with a Girl.
Changing Your Facebook Status
Social networking is great for staying in touch with friends but not a great forum to break up with someone. It is usually not a good idea change your Relationship Status on Facebook and hope that she can take the hint. Besides, do this and prepare for your wall to be laden with cracks about your penis or whiny love song lyrics.
Text Message
“I tnk we shld c other ppl” is a good way to get your tires slashed. The only thing less personal than a text message is a message sent through a carrier pigeon but much less awesome.
Anywhere With Sharp Objects
If you think that your girlfriend is unstable enough to lose it when you break up with her (as a female, she probably is), it is a good idea to get it done somewhere with as few potential weapons as possible.
In Public
You want to break up with this girl, not have a crowd of people find out that you suck in bed and are a heartless bastard as she violently screams profane insults at you.
Bonus: it is also not a good idea to call her something like “whore” (even if she is) when you break up with her. You will get kicked in the shin. Or the nuts. Hard. (Learn from my mistakes…)
Long Winded Letter
There are a few things wrong with this. For one, it is still incredibly impersonal, though better than a text message. Secondly, most guys who go down this lane just wind up making the girl think they were gay. Most importantly, the last thing you need is written proof of your douchiness, especially in the age of Twitter, Facebook, and blogs.
Thx to Coed.…
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I agree with Tim, the problem with that is she might like the wife and becomes friends with her. I say, just don’t talk to him again. It’s easier!
I think the worst way to break up is introduce her to your wife…ouchy
Holy shit. Loved the HST letter. That’s the mistake I’ve made more than once, breaking up via a long-winded, narcissistic letter, telling the ex in excruciating detail, with plenty of adjectives, about how I had been aggrieved. It is douchey.
I have only had a couple of guys break up with me and they both did the “it’s not you, it’s me” routine. My witty retort, no it is you and you are not worth me getting upset about.
WAY OFF TOPIC Disclaimer
Oooh the Rum Diary, just finished filming last yr in Puerto Rico. I had no idea he had been working on that since 2001. BONUS, there’s a Depp reference in there. You guys KNOW how to keep me coming back here. It’s like a little mind contest for me, who will do it and when will they do it now.
The worst way that a girl broke up with me is she didn’t even bother to tell me that a date was off. I went over there and she was getting ready for her date, just not with me. Not a big deal, the writing was on the wall so to speak.
Plus she wore this perfume that made me absolutely nauseous, smelled like maple….ughhhh!!
The worst way a girl broke up with me was her telling me “I hate you, I never loved you, you are a waste of time, I cannot stand being around you, it’s over.” Being the sharp fellow I was, I asked her “are we still on for Saturday night.”
The method I’ve always gotten is “Guy acts like total asshole, ramping it up a notch until the girl finally tires of it and breaks it off with him herself.” This usually involves cheating, insults, lying, etc.