Argentina Sabre Rattles Over The Falklands

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They’re at it again those damn Argies. They really can’t get it into their dumb heads can they? The Falkland Islands are a British protectorate, the people of The Falkland Islands wish to remain a British protectorate and The Falkland Islands will remain a British protectorate to the extent that we would go to war to ensure this fact again if Argentina forced us to. In other words, choice one, Argentina behave regarding The Falklands or choice two, they don’t and invade and Britain kicks their ass all over again.

Now look. Britain does not want to have another South Atlantic fisticuffs with Argentina. It’s a long way to go for a naval punch up for one thing and, frankly, in general, if they would stop bleating on about a group of islands that they have never owned and never will we actually quite like the Argentinians – well, except for that cheat Diago Maradonna of course.

Argentina often refer to The Falkland Islands as The Malvina’s and we have no problem with that. They could refer to them as ‘The Islands Of Sheep Shaggers’ if they wanted and we don’t care.

What we do care about is that British military personnel died and were wounded and maimed defending The Falklands and, if Argentina do anything stupid it will happen all over again.

The last time America tried to intervene by suggesting Britain didn’t take any military action and sat around a negotiating table with Argentina. Quite rightly Britain replied ‘bollocks’ or words to that effect, blew The Belgrano out of the water and militarily kicked the crap out of Argentina. Job done. Let’s move on.

To this day Argentina keep whinging and whining on about their ‘Malvina’s’ which don’t actually exist as they are British and called The Falklands.

The Russians – I might have known – have supplied Argentina with some naval vessels. One is named Islas Malvinas in order to ‘wind us up’. It hasn’t.

Argentina have said they like our Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn as he has said he would negotiate joint ‘ownership’ if he was ever elected Prime Minister which, thankfully, is about as likely as me joining the first Mars mission.

Apparently China are supplying them with naval ships as well.

Now look Argentina.

We, the Brits, do not want to go to war with you. We didn’t want to the first time but please don’t mistake our desire for not going to war with you as some kind of weakness suggesting we wouldn’t.

If you are really dumb enough to invade The Falklands again we will ignore the United Nations, America, Russia, China et al, send another task force down there and blow the crap out of you.

We will not give a damn how many countries stick their oar in to try and find a peaceful formula as there won’t be one other than you getting your asses off The Falklands.

Please don’t do it again. Be sensible. You rile the Brits up and it doesn’t really matter who you are or how big you think your country is. Nobody and nothing will stand in our way protecting British sovereign territory.

Do us all a favour Argentina. Go and play polo and soccer and do things you can actually win at eh? Trust me. You step foot on our sovereign territory again and we might decide to bomb Argentina never mind just kick you out of The Falklands. How would that be eh? A few missiles on Buenos Aires?

The sensible advice? Don’t do it and stay safe. Rule Britannia.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.

fourdinners14223647@aol.com